Here, Kitty Kitty!

I figured out why the Israeli government has been cutting child allowance payments and grants to yeshivos. It's because they need the money for other things, like wasting it on rescuing stray cats from weird places.

I kid you not. I went to the Kosel last night to daven Maariv and to say "goodbye", so to speak, since I will be leaving Israel until Elul. When I got there, there were two major commotions in progress: a chefetz chashud (suspicious object, which may be a bomb) was being taken apart by a bomb squad robot, and a cat was stuck on a ledge about 30 feet off the ground right near the Kosel.

I don't know what's wrong with these people, but the cat was getting a LOT more attention than the potential bomb. A major rescue effort was launched, consisting of bringing a device that looked kind of like a free-standing elevator down to the Kosel plaza, and raising it up to the ledge, hoping that the cat would be stupid enough to give up its nice, comfortable perch in the center of attention in favor of a rickety metal platform that was whining and making all kinds of scary mechanical noises.

I don't even know why they were working so hard to try and save the cat - it's not like there's a shortage of cats around here. In fact, scientists estimate that there are approximately 2,000,000,000,000 different cats living under our dira's kitchen window alone. But it certainly made for a good show.

Anyway, when the Einsteins running the show finally realized that the cat wasn't going to climb onto the platform by itself without sending up someone to "help" it, they lowered the platform back down to the ground, and - you guessed it - sent it back up empty again. I'm serious. They actually raised and lowered the platform a few more times without doing a single thing to improve their strategy, as if they expected the cat to eventually give up and say, "alright, alright! I'm coming down!"

Finally, they realized that this just wasn't going to work, so they decided to try and appease the cat by sending it some food. Really. They put a tray with what appeared to be some tuna on it on the platform, and sent it back up.

At this point, the cat finally decided he had enough. Instead of going for the food, it turned around and jumped up a few feet into a window that was just above the ledge, leaving the guys who brought the machine open-mouthed. After a few moments, they just shrugged and lowered the platform down, and then carted the machine away. I kinda felt bad for them - they looked like they were hoping they were gonna get a round of applause when they got down, and now that opportunity was lost forever.

Now, here I am sitting in the airport, and my flight is being delayed. I wonder if maybe it's because there's a cat stuck on the wing...

All Aboard the ChaCha Train!

Filed under Tidbits

You know, I knew that my blog had been getting more and more visits lately. Especially since I was pretty much the first person to post the long awaited name of Tinok ben Aviva Feiner (Avraham Yeshayahu, after the Chazon Ish) on the web, being that I did it just moments after the name was given in Jerusalem's Great Synagogue this morning. But you know what really made me feel like I'm finally "on the map"? Getting noticed by ChaCha.

First, a quick little introduction for those of you who have just arrived from some distant planet and do not yet know what ChaCha is: ChaCha is a text-messaging-based mobile search service. Simply put, that means that you can send a text message with any question you want to "CHACHA" (that's 242242 on your phone's keypad), and you will generally get an answer within a short time. For example, you can ask "what is the current exchange rate from US dollars to Israeli Shekels?" or even "what time is candle lighting this Friday evening?" and they will tell you.

See, the way it works is, your question goes to one of ChaCha's many "guides" (people who ChaCha pays to answer questions). The guide performs a quick Google search for the answer, and sends it to your phone via text message. At the end of the answer is a web address that when accessed, shows your question, the answer, some info about the guide who gave the answer, and - here's the important part - a link to the site where the guide got the answer from.

So why am I mentioning all this? Because, like I said before, I am honored that ChaCha has begun to take notice of me. What I mean by that is that believe it or not, on more than one occasion, ChaCha guides have used MY humble blog as the source website for their answers! My blog has provided useful information (if that's even possible) for answering questions about everything from the major snowstorm in Jerusalem this past winter, to details of the aforementioned bris of Avraham Yeshayahu Feiner. So if that's not justification enough for wasting my time writing this thing, well, then I don't know what is.

So in closing, I would like to point out that I have suddenly become a much bigger fan of ChaCha than I already was, now that I see they're becoming bigger fans of me. I highly endorse (assuming I have the power to do that) ChaCha for all your mobile search needs.

But of course, one must weigh that against the fact that when asked recently what the Feiner baby's name is, a ChaCha guide replied: "The baby boy is named Tinok ben Aviva." So I guess maybe they aren't perfect, after all...

NOTE: Unfortunately, ChaCha only works in the USA, not in Israel or anywhere else.

I Have Good News and... Well, More Good News

Filed under Tidbits

Tonight's update is about two very special simchas (well, to me, at least), Baruch Hashem.

First of all, it is with great joy and gratitude to Hashem that I report that my sister had a baby girl. (Thereby making me an aunt?) Now, I have plenty of nieces and nephews, b'li ayin hara. But what is special about little Blimi B. is that she is a major milestone for me (well, for our family): this is the thirtieth time I became an uncle. That's right - Uncle Moishe's "fan club" now has 30 members, b'li ayin hara!

Second of all, remember Tinok ben Aviva - the son of Rabbi Eitan Feiner Shlita, who was in the NNICU for several months after he was born? The one whom our "Super Bowl Seder" was to be a z'chus for (covered here)? Well, I am pleased to report that he is doing much better, Baruch Hashem - and is finally having his bris tomorrow morning!

May Klal Yisroel continue to share only simchas from now on!

UPDATE: Tinok ben Aviva finally has a name: Avraham Yeshayahu, after the Chazon Ish. Mazel tov!

An Interesting Tail

Although we no longer have Tutzy or Norman (who are currently both pursuing lucrative careers in the field of decomposition), there is apparently no shortage of pets to be had in this country. And no, I'm not referring to the cockroaches the size of microwave ovens that one can sometimes find. No, I'm talking about something else completely: I'm talking about donkeys.

I'm not sure what on earth possessed him to do so, but last week a guy from my dira purchased a donkey from some passing Israeli kid for just 100 shekels. I dunno if it was a smart idea, but hey, nobody asked me for my opinion. But hey, a hundred shekels is a small price to pay for some quality entertainment, no?

In fact, when you think about it, it can actually be a pretty good investment. With gasoline going for the equivalent of roughly eight dollars a gallon here in Israel, even a moped ("tus-tus" b'laaz) can start costing some serious cash. A donkey, on the other hand is a nice, convenient, environmentally-friendly grass-powered form of transportation, although perhaps it's a bit bumpy. Plus if you want lots of attention, you don't need to install chrome rims or anything: everyone will be staring at you as it is.

One of my yeshiva's diras has a front yard with a fence around it, so we kept the donkey there. For a week or so it lived there, eating and performing whatever other activities donkeys like to engage in, occasionally being taken for a ride or even just a walk through the streets.

Unfortunately, the fun was not to last. Once of the neighbors, who had apparently been learning the part of this week's parsha (Parshas Balak) about Bilam's donkey with too much kavana - decided to rat us out to the authorities. I didn't know donkey ownership is illegal, but then again, I don't know a whole lot of other things, either. All I know is that the municipality sent someone down to investigate the matter, and when he saw that there was indeed a donkey present, he promptly called for backup - meaning someone with a truck - to come take it away.

Fearing for our beloved pet, two guys distracted the municipal worker, while a third guy snuck the donkey out of there and ran off with it. When the guy with the truck finally came to take away the donkey, it was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately, though, since donkeys are not a very common sight around here, everyone along the escape route noticed it, and thus the municipal people had plenty of eyewitnesses to tell them where the donkey went. They followed the trail of eyewitness accounts all the way to the Arzei Habira park, where they finally caught up with the donkey. Unlike Bilam's donkey, though, ours was unable to talk and defend itself, and thus found itself being taken away in the back of the truck to who-knows-where.

Wherever it is, I hope it's having a good time. And maybe, eventually, it'll meet the grandchild of Bilam's donkey, and learn to tell some good jokes...

We're Back in Business

Filed under Tidbits

My apologies for the lack of new posts here on the blog recently. I have been having some severe problems recently with my Blogspot account, which prevented me from posting. Long story made short, I had several Blogspot employees burned at the stake, and the rest of them, seeing I meant business, got things working again.

And now, back to my deranged ranting informative journalism...