Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hafganah!!!

Okay, we finally have some serious action to talk about. Not a snowstorm or another boring visit from George "Dubya" Bush, but something way more interesting, as measured in total number of dumpsters set on fire. I'm talking about the wave of hafganot that started last night, are continuing tonight, and may continue for the whole next week.

"Hafganah" is the Hebrew term for demonstration. But we're not talking about a simple demonstration by a few bored souls yelling "power to the people!" or some other mindless slogan; we're talking about serious stuff, the kind of demonstration where if Iran fired a missile at us, it would never hit us because it would be blocked by a dense protective layer of flaming garbage receptacles covering the streets of Jerusalem.

See, what happened was that some poor guy from Brazil was killed in a car accident on Kvish Shesh (Highway 6), Rachmana litzlan. Not content with letting the victim rest in peace, the police want to do an autopsy on the body. They want to investigate the "cause of death"; apparently they believe that being dead is not enough proof that something caused the victim to die.

Needless to say, autopsies are forbidden by halacha, so the anti-religious cops are all excited that they have an excuse to tick off the Chareidi community. However, the Chareidi community has no intention whatsoever of taking this sitting down, and so a wave of hafagnot has begun.

Your average protest around here consists of taking the huge green dumpsters that can be found all over Jerusalem, setting their contents ablaze, and pushing them into the street, thereby clogging the city's already delicate traffic system and causing massive jams. Ironically, while making the biggest "hefker velt" possible out of the city, the participants yell "Yerushalayim eino hefker!!!"

Thinking about this system, I decided to carefully analyze the cons and pros of such a protest.

CONS: Such protests are an inconvenience for innocent civilians such as myself, cause untold property damage in the form of destroyed dumpsters (which rumor has it the city will no longer be replacing, forcing the residents and merchants to figure out some other way of disposing of their garbage), cause a major chilul Hashem in the form of non-religious taxi drivers and cops cursing out all chareidim in general, and result major traffic delays and ridiculously altered bus routes (in one case, a number 2 bus headed for the Kosel ended up passing through Denver, Colorado).

PROS: On the other hand, they sure are fun to watch.

So we can be sure that there will be lots more action in the coming days. Last night alone I personally saw protests on Meah She'arim and Shivtei Yisroel, on Yecheskel near Kikar Shabbos, on Yoel near Hoshea, and on Shmuel Hanavi near Kikar Zvill. And those were only the small ones.

I wonder what tonight will bring...

Other news that I never got around to posting:
- Tutzy is dead. She died a few days into the zman; we have no idea what caused her to die, but we sure miss her. We buried her in a dirt lot near my yeshiva, and marked her grave with a small piece of Jerusalem stone
- My refrigerator is dead. Remember the little portable one that I paid a fortune for (specifically, 320 shekels)? Well, it currently keeps things "cold" at a comfortable 75 degrees Fahrenheit. So I'm guessing I got ripped off as usual.
- On the plus side, my dira finally got a full-size refrigerator/freezer combo. So I guess life isn't so bad after all, huh?
- Norman (the turtle) is not dead, although he does a great job of pretending he is.
- I never got around to finishing The Ukrainian Chronicles, and probably never will. Too bad on you. If you don't like it, sue me.
- The dollar hit an all-new low of 3.26 shekels, continuing its trend of declining in value against every major world currency, as well as several major brands of tissue paper.
- Am I forgetting anything else? Post a comment if you think so...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you ask me, hafganahs are specifically arranged by the Israeli Government to help facilitate garbage disposal.

Anonymous said...

How about some pictures of the "hafganohs"?
vz

Anonymous said...

For the bennefit of your new readers, how about an explanation of who Tutzi it.
The Grapevine is anxiously waiting for your article! Ahem!

Anonymous said...

i cant belive that the Israeli goverment didnt wanna do an autopsy on tutzy

The Shadow said...

@The Grapevine Editor:

If you would read through some of my older posts, you would know that Tutzy was our beloved gray cockatiel, which is a bird that looks like an oversized parakeet with a hairstyle strongly reminiscent of Tintin. (You know who Tintin is, don't you?)

San Motty-O said...

Aside from providing bloggers with canon fodder, Hafganos have a very real function.
The State of israel (and what a state it's in) considers itself a democracy. Recently, democracies have run suspciously close to anarchy.There often exists, at least initially, some loose set of values upon which "the people" establish their moral standards.
Consistent with other exciting revolutions, input and involvement peter out with time. There now arises a small minority seeking to lower the bar- morally speaking. Democracy, (by the people, for the people) opens the stage for a vote.
The vast majority, while in disagreement, are simply too preoccupied to speak up. The vote goes through primarily by the special interest group and passes. In our holy land of Israel, things are even more corrupt.
The voices of those who care about Jewish values are ignored.
Now, property damage aside, these people are actually excercizing their suppressed, democratic right of self rule according to the people's values!

Anonymous said...

Hey! This sounds like real fun!
What a 'Chavaya'!

But please Moishe, don't let them grab innocent you when they go around arresting people 'bli cheshbon'. Although it may make an interesting blog post, I'd HATE TO SEE YOU BEHIND BARS!!

Zeits Gezunt

PS - what about yeshiva, no blog post about that? business as usual?

Anonymous said...

Tell me please..
while the 'oilam' is demonstrating, does that prevent the autopsy from taking place, or is it already history?

Anonymous said...

Tell me please-
While the 'oilam is demonstrating, does that prevent the autopsy from taking place or is it already history?

Anonymous said...

The Dollar seems to be dropping evev further due the hAFGanos!!!!3.23